Falling in Love + Self Respect

September 28, 2010 |  by

When we’re in love, the sky’s no limit. But when the other person pulls away, then everything collapses. We grasp onto every hint and hope that they’re still ours.

The question we keep asking is: Do they still love me?

What’s missing from this question is self-respect. Coming from self-respect, our question would be more like this: Is this person meeting my wanting for intimacy, engagement, love, tenderness…and respect? Because usually, that’s what we want.

Sometimes it’s just communication. But often it’s more. Self-respect can save us a lot of angst. Instead of chasing after hints and hopes, we can see people for who they really are (which is good for everyone). Either they’re someone who’s meeting, sharing and engaging in living with us – or they’re not. If they won’t, (chances are) someone else will.


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